a new day!

so it's taken a few years, but i think i'm finally figuring out this hormone thing. i always thought that PMS was right before the menstrual cycle, but it's actually about a week before, with a week of normalcy in between. or at least that how it is for me. for three days i was so stressed, so full of tension and anxiety, but then i woke up this morning and felt like a new person. thank you, Jesus! i didn't think i could stand too much more of myself like that. at least now i feel a little but more human.

Brian has been taking the kids to school lately, which has been nice for both of us. it helps him get out the door on time, and gives me more time to clean up after the helter-skelter of our morning routine. i work at the church on Thursdays. this morning i decided to bike there. what a great day for being outside! i packed up my lesson in my back pack and cruised on down the road. at least i was cruising until i came to some hills. being a marathoner doesn't mean you are in shape for every sport. my legs felt like jello trying to bike up those little inclines.

we had a very small group in my nursery class today. i guess there were a lot of folks out sick. five kids are so much easier to deal with than twelve. one of the workers in the infant nursery is the woman named Reyes. she has been hired by the church to do childcare for different activities over the years though she doesn't attend Redeemer. we talk a lot. she's a decade or so older than me and calls me Baby Girl, which makes me smile inside. she has three kids and has been divorced and is remarried. she's married to an "undocumented worker" or illegal alien. when you meet real people that carry those titles it kind of makes all those issues a little muddy. suddenly they aren't so black and white. anyways, Reyes is a great woman, and i don't know her whole story or why her husband doesn't seek citizenship, but i'm glad to know her.

me and my jelly-like legs biked home and i got in a little time of house cleaning. i dropped in on the thrift store and picked up some clothes for the kids and a handful of books. when i went to pick up the kids i saw William and one if his classmates and his teacher engaged in a conversation. this is rather monumental because i have never seen William in a conversation with anyone at school. his teacher would ask a question and William would answer yes or no. this is huge.

i took John to basketball practice in the evening. we made up knock-knock jokes all the way there. i worked out in the fitness center while he practiced.

we sent out a fundraising letter yesterday in our attempt to help the Zamora family. already we have more than $300 in pledges. this is just a grassroots kind of thing, so Brian and i will collect the donations, cash them in and give them the money. i don't think they can get penalized by such donations because i doubt they pay taxes. there was concern that they could lose some of their medicaid benefits if they were given money. they are currently in San Antonio where Ricky is receiving treatments.

i've been commissioned to do a cake for Keegan's little sister, Jules' birthday on Monday. this should be fun since i don't get many opportunities to do girl cakes.

i started writing this post yesterday. now it's Friday morning and i'm supposed to be up moving, but i've been plumped up on my pillows trying to catch up on my Bible reading.

i'll be working in the library at Maplewood this morning with this sweet lady, Mrs. Cobb~



so now i must bid adieu, and get my kiddies ready for school.

burnout

i have been so uptight the past few days. i know it's hormonal and it'll pass, but it is so frustrating.

i went down to the trail this morning to run, but i felt so emotionally flat, that i only ran half of what i had intended. i contemplated calling Brian to see if he happened to be downtown so he could pick me up. i felt so burnt out. so i ran the first 3.5 miles and walked the last 3.7 miles.

i did Meals on Wheels today. i just love those people! my sweet friend, Esther, wasn't there today because, according to the MOW dispatcher, she was in rehab. i hope she's ok.

i did recess duty at the school right after MOW and got to see William, Margaret, and Samuel. John plays on the playscape in another part of the school yard, so i don't see him.

i had a chance to see Brian because i had to trade out cars with him before picking up the kids at school. i had a small window of time to clean house - it really needs it - before going back to school.

i took all the boys over to Keegan's house so Karen could watch them for me while Margaret and i did a GS cookie booth. we set up at the Walgreens on Guadalupe. that place is busy and we sold a ton of boxes. it was nice to have a little time together, just Margaret and me.

i'm tired and i feel like i just want my senses indulged. i want to lie around, or better yet soak in a bubblebath,  have someone rub my back or feet, watch tv, drink wine, and just be self-centered.

God help me to die to myself, deny myself, and follow you!

work, running, friends, reads.

just got home from picking up the kids at school and dropping Keegan off at his house. i worked at the church all day. now it's time to chill out a little, bake some cookies, and do a little tidying up.

yesterday morning (Monday) i went down to Lady Bird Lake and ran a 4 and a half mile loop. my mom called while i was down there, and we decided to have lunch together and do some shopping. i ran home and showered before she got here, and then we went to Jason's for some salads. we went in together on a bike for Brian for his birthday (next week), and she bought some bed linens for us and some shirts for William. she's always so generous. you'd think she was a millionaire the way she spends on everyone!

all the kids had some sort of after-school activity they were participating in until 4, but i went by at my regular time and made sure they all got situated, Margaret in her student council meeting, Samuel and William in their robotics class, and John and Keegan in their classroom for individual benchmark testing. while the kids were thus occupied, Mama and i went grocery shopping at HEB.

William and Samuel both had basketball practice last night, so Mama and i took them over to the Y for that. i worked out, doing the elliptical and some weights. i'm feeling better toned and strong than i have in awhile. that bulkiness that i had when i started running hard and doing weights is gone and my beloved 00 Gap jeans don't feel snug anymore. *(funny note about those jeans. they are probably the measurements of what used to be a 1, but Gap seems to have upsized everything and added another smaller size. i know it isn't because i have shrunk. when i was about 14 and weighed 90 pounds i wore a size 3. now i weigh between 15 and 20 pounds more and wear a 00. makes no sense.)

Mama ended up spending the night last night. thankfully she stayed up with Margaret while she finished up her science project. Brian and i were so worn out from too many late nights and couldn't handle another. we got to bed at a decent hour, and then were up in time to run our 5 and a quarter miles at 6 am. this morning. it always feels good to get that in first thing.

i worked at the church all day. Classical Conversations was having an open house, so we had more kiddos than usual. the last few weeks have been so pleasant. all the moms have made a point of chatting with me and asking about my kids, etc.

Brian's parents are coming in to town on Friday to see the kids' basketball games and to send Brian and i away for a night. they booked us a night at a hotel on Lady Bird Lake, using Brian's dad's frequent stay miles, or whatever they're called. this will be the third year in a row that they've done that for us for his birthday. have i mentioned that they are the best inlaws ever?

we'll be getting another date weekend the next weekend because the kids are going to Burnet to spend time with my mom. i got tickets for Brian and i to go hear Pat Green at Coupland Dance Hall that Saturday night. =)

when i went to pick up the kids this afternoon, John, Keegan and Jose ran up to the car, and with great enthusiasm, Jose informed me that John had punched his tooth out. granted, Jose asked him to, but still....Jose thought it was the coolest thing ever! oh boy.

Wednesday morning -

i took Margaret and Marissa to basketball last night and worked out in the gym for about 45 minutes while we were up there. Marissa has become a sweet friend to Margaret. it's so cute to watch them out there on the court since they're both very girlie-girls. they both play real aggressive and take their playing very serious.

i checked out The Time Traveler's Wife at the library last night i was there. i read about 75% but it just didn't appeal to me at all. for one, i don't like unrealistic reads. i guess i'm too black and white for fantasy and sci-fi. another is the crudeness. if i take the time to read a novel, i hope that it will be beautifully written, not crass and junior high-ish. but the most disturbing thing is the way casual sex is the M O. i want to read something about women (and men) respecting themselves, and not casually passing their bodies around to be used by each other. but maybe there are no books out there these days that don't glorify casual sex, unless you go get the cheesy Christian romance novels at Lifeway. so i throw that into the pile that includes Eat, Pray, Love, and move on.

i started The Christian's Secret to A Happy Life by Hannah Whithall Smith, a book my mom gave to me a long time ago. 

yesterday i saw Ricky, Jose's brother, you know, the one with leukemia. so sweet, so young. i thought a lot yesterday about what it must feel like to know that you are very sick. to wonder if you'll grow up. it's almost too much to bear if i think about it long enough. it's been so neat how the school community has rallied around the Zamora family, providing things like meals and transportation as needed. i think the family is a bit overwhelmed by all the offers to help. suddenly they have hundreds of new friends.

well, time to call it a wrap for today. gotta get the kids up and ready for school.

i'm sitting here in front of the fireplace with a cozy fire going while i spin tunes and Brian and the kids play wii. i possible, i've become an even bigger fan of Friday nights now that we've all grown so busy.

this morning i worked at the Maplewood library for an hour or so shelving books. Ms. Cobb and i chatted about a variety of things, including the AISD budget shortfall which is bigger than big. lots and lots of things are going to change, which makes me sad because i know how much it will hurt so many that i know and love, including my own kids. but we had a nice little visit nonetheless. she's such a sweet lady.

i came home after my library gig and cleaned house. and cleaned and cleaned. it needed it, too. and when i'd cleaned all i could clean, i rewarded myself with a trip to Target to buy some things for the house. i've been looking for a duvet for our bed, but all the ones i wanted were $100 and up. i stumbled on a beautiful one for $25, which was 75% off the regular price. i was so thrilled! also got some towels. i am a sucker for linens. bedding, sheets, towels, table linens - i love them all!

i brought two extras home from school on Friday, Keegan and Jose. Jose hasn't spoken about his brother's sickness and i haven't noticed any change from his usual jollinesst. i guess it's just too hard for a 6 year old to
 comprehend all that's happening.
we all went up to the Y in the late afternoon/early evening because Brian was subbing for Margaret's basketball coach. i worked out for an hour or so and then watched her team get their first win of the season. we came home and ate frito pie for dinner and played wii and in the den with the fireplace roaring. it was so nice. this is mentioned above because i blogged some of this friday night.

saturday morning saw Brian and i out running before 6:30. we ran about ten miles, a loop to the capitol and back. other than it being awfully cold (23 degrees) we both felt great. once we got home it was time to hit the ground running (running of another kind), with Brian taking the boys to their games and Margaret and i on a quest to find her a Girl Scout cadette sash. she "bridged" up to cadette last year and we never got her the new sash. technically she's not supposed to sell cookies without it, but we had no choice yesterday since the GS store wasn't open. i took Margaret and her friend, Marissa, who is also on her basketball team and in her class at school, over to Hoover's to set up a cookie booth. we ended up selling 27 boxes over two hours, which seemed pretty good to me, having never done a booth before.
one of the workers from the restaurant came out and snapped this picture of the girls to put on Hoover's FB page~



the rest of the afternoon was spent working on science projects. the stress level was pretty high for Brian and i trying to work with all four kids on their projects at once. more proof , i think, that i was just not cut out to be a teacher. i think there was smoke coming out of my head. we finally had to call it a night, eat some dinner, have Bible-time, and put the kids to bed. then Brian and i sat by the fire and tried to unwind our nerves. we had made a lot of progress that day and the end was almost in sight.

Sunday morning we went to church and then on to Sunday school. thankfully the other teacher prepared the lesson for our class this week, so i was just the helper person. we came home to a nice meal of fajitas, black beans, spanish rice, pico, and guacamole. i had signed up to take a meal to a family in our church that just had a baby, so Saturday night we grilled double the amount of fajitas, and cooked double the amount of sides so we could give some and keep some. it's so nice to come home from church and have a good meal waiting.

then it was back to work on those dern science projects. now, as of Monday morning, we have three completed science projects sitting in the den and one "getting close to being done" one in Margaret's room. yay! i feel like we just help four people write thier dissertations. over one weekend.

before i forget, yesterday my "baby" brother, Thomas, turned 34. happy birthday to a great guy!





....and to my nephew Thomas, who turned 10. happy birthday, Tom-Tom!

yesterday was just one thing after another. ot the kids to school, then went down to the trail to run what was supposed to be a ten miler, but got cut short because i had three phone calls while i was out there, and ran out of time.

i called Gracie, the mom of the little boys with Leukemia. she seems to be holding up ok. when i started talking to her though, i started bawling. i didn't mean to, but i couldn't stop. it was a little embarrassing. Brian and i are going to use out running in the Austin Livestrong Marathon to raise money for Ricky's treatment. since we only have about four weeks until the marathon, we're going to be scrambling to get a fund set up and letters sent out.

i did Meals on Wheels yesterday morning. my buddy, Esther, didn't seem well. i hope she's doing ok. i can imagine it's hard to get up much will to keep living when you're so old and you don't get much interaction with others.

i had recess duty after MOW. two of the grades were not having recess, so a big part of the time, Grandma Greene and i just sat on the stone wall and visited. i don't know if i have mentioned her before. she has a granddaughter at Maplewood. she heads up the outdoor gardening program and is often doing recess duty the same time i am. she's very interesting to talk to, being very articulate and having lived all over during her lifetime. we've become buddies, she and i.

i went up to Brian's office after that, and found Margaret doodling away while Brian worked. i think she enjoyed spending the day with him. i brought her cookies with me and we went around to all the employees and tried to convince them that they needed to buy some. then it was time to pick up the others at school.

thankfully we had no basketball practice Wednesday evening. Margaret made dinner for us, Brian helped Samuel with his science project, i did laundry, William did homework, and John watched American Idol.

Brian and i are about to go out and run our five and a quarter miles, then it will be rush, rush, rush to get everyone to school. so i'll end right here.

Tuesday am. -

a real quick post before i run off to the church to look at children all day.

yesterday i met up with Meredith and her kids & also my mom to go visit my grandmother and her brother. they both live in Blanco, each on their separate little "ranches". my grandmother raises all sorts of animals and it's really more like a zoo out there. you'd never know the woman is nearly 82. she's as cute as a button and sharp as a tack. she's also an artist and, when she's not caring for her gazillion animals, does portraits and restores paintings in the fashion of the old masters. she has been married several times (twice to my grandfather), but has been single for some 20+ years now. her brother, Roger, who we've always called Rootie, lives a few miles from her and raises buffalo. he'll turn 80 this year. he has never been married, and is one of those simple, guileless people you meet only once in a blue moon. he lives in a little one room cabin, heated by a wood burning stove. he has no indoor plumbing, and no hot water. he does have his tv and microwave and telephone though. he's as happy as he can be out there, just him and his buffalo on 55 acres.

Wednesday am. -

I've been working on this blog post a bit at a time over the past day and a half. it feels kind of like eating on leftovers. i keep warming it back up. maybe i'll actually publish it this morning before i take the kids to school.

we just found out that John's best friend, Jose's brother Ricky was diagnosed with Leukemia. Ricky is in 2nd grade at Maplewood. this is just heartbreaking! the Zamora family is a poor, working class family that lives in a run-down apartment complex near the day-labor site. the boys' mom, Gracie, is so sweet and devoted to her kids. please keep this family in prayer.

i worked at the church yesterday. things are going better, and all the mom's were very gracious to me. the one in charge of childcare assured me that they wanted me to stay. i think she must have talked to the other moms, because they all went out of their way to be friendly, even the ones that are usually snobby. so i guess i'm there for the semester, because it doesn't look like the have any plans for looking for a replacement for me.

i've been having a lot of intestinal problems for the past couple of months. actually all my life, but the intensity fluctuates. i had colitis when i was a kid, but it cleared up through prayer and care. anyways, i was talking to a mom yesterday who had similar issues, and she went to a GI doctor who tested her for gluten intolerance. she tested positive and has had great results from going GF. i've always been wary of all the hype about gluten, as it has seemed like just the latest fad diet to cure all ailments. but after listening to Carly talk about her GI problems, i am at least interested in trying a GF diet to see if i can clear up some of my problems. i'm also going to cut out dairy for awhile and see if i notice a change in my innards. =) one symptom that most gluten intolerant folks have is fatigue. that is a symptom i am blessed not to have. and i don't seem to struggle with a weakened immune system either. it's just the danged pipes down there that are always having trouble.

i've been exercising at the Y on the days i don't get out to run. last night i took Margaret to basketball practice and got in about 45 minutes or cardio and 15 minutes of toning. i've found a new friend in the StairMaster. i climbed 113 floors in about 13 minutes. i was soaking wet when i finished. it felt great, like i was getting rid of all the yuckies in my body. i'm trying to strike that balance of getting strong without bulking up. i do not want to look like a body builder! and i don't want to build up so much muscle that it hampers my ability to run.

cookie sales start today! we ordered twice as many cases to sell as last year.

Margaret decided on her own that she did not want to go on the field trip with her class to the places of worship, so she'll go to work with Brian this morning. we didn't want to force her against her conscience. that will give her a chance to work on her applications for middle schools.

i have a ten miler to do after i drop the others off at school, and Meals on Wheels after that, and recess monitoring after that. but the rest of the day is open. yay! our one free evening of the week!

i still haven't found a good read, so i've found myself filling my  empty time with Scripture. i suppose that's better than any other book anyways. yesterday i had a chunk of somewhat free time while the babies were napping, so i was able to get in some reading and meditation in I Timothy. so much good stuff there!

well, that's all i have time for this morning. adios, amigos!

i'm the only one up so far on this drizzly Sunday morning. i'm enjoying the quiet while i drink my Pike Place roast coffee.

yesterday was a bit of a whirlwind day for us. as i blogged about yesterday, Brian went down to the trail first thing to run 22 miles. and he did! i took John to his basketball game, and Brian brought the rest of the bunch a little while later. John isn't much on organized sports yet. he just doesn't have the attention span for them, but he sure did enjoy sitting there with his female coach talking to her about all sorts of things. William and Samuel had their game right after John's. Samuel really comes out of his shell in sports. he's so aggressive! Brian says that we just need to have him involved in something at all times. he seems to need the affirmation that comes from doing well in sports more than the others. after the game, Margaret and i went to a Girl Scout meeting, and Brian took the boys to register them for spring baseball. we picked up our cookies at the GS meeting. sales start on Wednesday!

*****

It's now Sunday evening. i've been having the time of my life scanning in old photos for the past hour or so. our old printer/scanner died awhile back, so Brian's parents got us a new one for Christmas. it's a lot better than the last one. i have a huge pile of photos that i need to get scanned in, so i'm working on it a little bit at a time as i have time. they bring back a ton of memories, and i find myself stopping to stare at pictures and day dream for awhile.

after we got home from church, Brian and i each spent most of the afternoon working with the kids on their science projects. Margaret's is done now, and i think William's is, too. we are still working on the other two kids'. i am so glad that i have Brian to help with theses things, because science is so not my thing!

i'm having trouble finding a good book to read now. i checked out some "national best sellers", but i read a chapter or two and get turned off by the crudeness or the unbelievable storyline, and then move on. i need some recommendations!

i've been keeping up (barely) with my daily Bible reading, and it has been so good to submerge myself in the Word! i got behind this past week and had to read about ten chapters yesterday to catch up. i'm not complaining. it was glorious! i'm currently reading in Genesis, Nehemiah, Matthew and Acts.

it's been raining for several days now. i went to the Y again this afternoon to exercise, my second day in a row to do that. i can't make myself run on a treadmill. it's just nothing like real running. i did the elliptical for half an hour or so, then climbed almost 100 floors on the stair stepper. i was pouring sweat by the end. i really wanted to make it to 100, but my timer sopped and the machine stopped and that was that. next time i'll get in those last 6 floors.

i was sure i had more interesting things to write about, but i guess not. maybe i'm just too tired.